She willed it to ring, but it didn’t. The cell phone was dead silent. Akiya tried to busy herself in the household chores, but kept checking the phone every 5 mins. What if she missed his call or message, she didn’t want to leave anything to chance. She wanted to speak to him but didn’t have the courage to call him. What if he thinks differently?
They had spent the entire day together but she wanted more. It was nothing spectacular, just the routine movie and dinner and some conversations in between. She had begun noticing in the last few outings that he was showing signs of disinterest but she didn’t bring up the topic lest he gets angry and stops talking with her. Zack, he was the life of her world, she could just sit next to him and enjoy his companionship without speaking much.
Her phone beeped just as she was about to fall asleep. She leaped out of bad, it was message from Zack. It’s over. What did he mean it’s over, did he send the message by mistake, did he mean that he whatever he was doing,was over. What was it.. she had loads of question racing through her head. She was fiddling with the phone trying to muster the courage to call him and ask him what it meant. I better message him, it’s so late to call she reasoned …..just as she was thinking what to do, her phone beeped again…its over between us, I am moving on… she couldn’t believe her eyes, she read and re read the message again and again..but nothing changed. Her most dreaded nightmare was in front of her…She didn’t know what to do she was numb to the sensation in her heart…..What did he mean, they just met a few hours earlier, was he trying to tell her something during the day hence he seemed distracted, did he find someone else…..did she do something to hurt him….Almost as a reflex she responded back, did I do something wrong or hurt you…but the phone bore stoic silence….it was almost an hour after she finally broke down..She knew this was going to happen but she was unwilling to accept it.
As she cried herself to sleep she wondered where the relationship had begun to break away….She got up the next morning and checked her phone, maybe he was joking or drunk but there was no message. As she showered she thought that she should call him and confront him. She called and called but her calls went straight to the voicemail. Akiya felt that her entire world came crumbling down. She had weaved her entire life around Zack her dreams and every living moment was for him. Suddenly her life had no meaning. Her friends circle dwindled during her relationship with Zack as he was her world. What is the point she thought, it would be days nay months before she could finally get herself to accept it.
One day as she was sitting in the park she saw a family with a baby, who was crawling and was making an attempt to stand but would fall down after every 2-3 steps, but that didn’t stop the baby from getting up again and again and making repeated attempts, even though the baby kept falling down. Akiya was amused, it was the first time in weeks that she had smiled. It was 4weeks since the last message, she had cried herself to sleep every day. Looking at the baby she had renewed strength, she came back home and looked around her house, it looked like a mess.
She decided it was time to take control of life, she had loved Zack dearly, but he chose to leave in the most unacceptable way, he was not worthy of her love. She was worth much more and could do much more. Akiya decided to take one day at a time and slowly she got into a rhythmic routine. Then it happened she bumped into Zack at a shopping mall. All her feelings welled up, she felt, anger, anxiety, curiosity, helplessness all at the same time. She opened her mouth to speak but words failed her. Zack looked at her and put his head down. Akiya had been dreading this encounter and hence had been preparing herself for it. Nothing can prepare you but your own mind and heart. Zack hung his head and tried walking past. Akiya caught hold of his arm and slapped him across his face. He was shocked but didn’t say anything others around were shocked as well and didn’t know what happened.
Tears rolled down Akiya’s cheek she had told herself that she would forgive him for everything but it was hard to forget what he had done to her. She walked briskly towards the park only again to be encountered by the baby who making attempts to stand up and it appeared that the baby was now taking steps without falling down….That’s it!!!I have to be strong, I am not perfect and not everything will go as planned but along as I get up every time I fall. I will survive.