Don’t Quit – Be Resilient!


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You are resilient” someone told me. I looked at the person and thought what does that mean. … While I understood what it meant, I still felt an inner need to look up the meaning. So I looked up the meaning of Resilience. This is what I found,

  1. (of a substance or object) able to recoil or spring back into shape after bending, stretching, or being compressed.
  2. (of a person or animal) able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions.

strong, tough, hardy; quick to recover, quick to bounce back, buoyant, difficult to keep down, irrepressible; adaptable, flexible

Adjective: resilient

All of us grow in life, we have our share of ups and downs, some traumatic situations, some difficult moments including depression. But how we respond to the situation is the key to being resilient.

You are resilient” the words echoed in my head….am I really resilient; I asked myself or am I just accepting life as it comes and procrastinating everything else.

This person had no idea of what I have been through in life, other than what they could see or what I had told them. They had no understanding of the experiences that I had and they were not be able to fathom what life meant to me.

I pondered and reflected on different phases in my life. There were high, some lows, there were some successes some losses. It did not mean that I didn’t experience pain, loss, anxiety or stress. It simply meant that I went through the emotions and at some point came to terms with the circumstance and decide to be in control and do something about it.

Resilience is all about attitude and the response to a situation. I have grown by leaps and bounds while in the valley. When we are at the mountain top, the view is beautiful but when you go through the valley it can get painful, but my experiences have taught me how to navigate through the valleys so I can climb another mountain and enjoy the scenic beauty. It’s not about the adverse event but its more about the character you build as you respond to the situation.

Resilience can be developed unlike other traits this is something we can develop and even prepare ourselves like we do in combat.

The below aspects were very helpful as I built my resilience over the years

  1. Connect with the internal – Spiritual
  2. Connect with the external – the world
  3. Close circle of relations – family, friends
  4. Positive thoughts and attitude – Where the mind goes there the man follows.
  5. Meaning of self – Purpose of life
  6. Helping others
  7. Developing a creativity for venting out
  8. Physical Well being

As I read about resilience I was very intrigued by it. I was very surprised to find out the amount of research that has gone into the subject. I always felt, it does not matter to anyone if you are resilient or not. One has to see the big picture, be strategic in order to be successful or just go with the flow of life. But I now realize, how wrong I was…. There is a lot of research on the subject where it’s related to the new buzz word GRIT (Growth, Resilience, Integrity and Tenacity)

As I googled information on Resilience I came across this Resilience shop site and was amazed with the kind of services they had to offer. Starting from an online survey which tells your resilience score to other offerings of coach and other related programs. Some research group has also created a Resilience grid. A simple word but has created so much interest

Organizations, community and society at large do need people to be resilient, if people are not resilient than we are an extinct species.

Life is the best teacher. I may not always be at the mountain top, but I have learnt how to enjoy my journey while in the valley and in the plains. Life is a journey and I have learnt to enjoy each destination. It’s a reminder that if you have gone through that then you can go through anything. You need to understand that you don’t have to live life as a victim because God has created us to be a victor and not a victim. We should not compromise for less when we can inherit the best. Don’t give up when we are so close to victory.

It’s been years when I first seen this quote in a very unlikely office (a government office – where you would least expect this to be hosted on a wall). It’s been one of those quotes which has been inspirational to me Don’t Quit

Believe in yourself and don’t quit….No matter where its barren a dream is born……

No Matter What They Tell Us

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PS: I Love You!!


Tough love

PS: I Love You….Words that all of us would want to hear at some point in our life…We experience different kinds of love throughout our lifespan. Some of them are baby love, mommy love, puppy love 🙂 , eros, agape and the list goes on…

Today however I want to share about tough love…while we may experience all of the above love, I think the one that is misunderstood or not accepted much and that is tough laugh.

We are all surrounded by different types of people around us, some of them are supportive of us, some would be our critics, more so some could even be our nemesis and would want to pull us down. It’s important to understand what kind of people are for your betterment who do you mingle with and who are best left alone.

No I am not suggesting a hermit’s life however I am talking about a life where you are choiceful of who are part of your life and who are important (read priority) in your life and who need to be deleted from your life..

I have a mix of close relationships with a few friends, and each of them love me dearly J however all of them are different from each other. I have an emotional friend, practical minded – matter of fact, no nonsense friend and tough love. So they balance out very well, I know who I need to reach out to if I need to have a shoulder to cry, who can give me the most level headed practical advice and who can vent out along with me. I also know who can show the mirror to me when needed.

Tough love is a kind of love the friend’s don’t show you any pity or sympathy. They don’t join you in the pity party, they rather would show you the facts and may be brutal with the truth to the point that you are forced to take an action. We all need such friends and people around us, typically it’s like a good cop, bad cop scenario where the father is generally a bit strict with the kids but mother is more tender and loving. But the father actually in most cases portrays tough laugh.

Someone who shows tough laugh towards you won’t shy away and mince words, they would rather be open about their opinions and will even critique you. They may not necessarily provide a shoulder to cry on or may provide it for a limited time, however they will eventually want you to manage your stuff and get out of the situation. It’s not that they will leave you high and dry it’s just that they believe in you and think its better you learn it the hard way. It’s like the old saying, Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; show him how to catch fish and you feed him for life”

Hence I call it tough love, because the person loves you and is supportive of you as a person however can be harsh or stern in the attempt wanting you to take responsibility for some actions.

I am glad I have friends and people around me who demonstrate tough love from time to time. This keeps me on track and also provide me a reality check. It’s not that I am dependent on Tough love, but it’s good to have someone who cares for you and wants nothing but the best.

Have you identified who fits in which bucket of love or priority, if not I would recommend to get the list out. There are some I would turn for advice, there some who I need more information from there are others who I need as a sounding board, others just to go with the flow, but very importantly tough love to ensure I continue to believe in myself.

To all my friends who play, different & interchangeable roles

PS: I love you….

Friend Song – By Keno

You can count on me – Bruno Mars