Power Play – Scales


By Power Play I am not referring to a sporting terminology rather I am referring to positions people play or take in any relationship.

Knowingly or unknowingly many of us are emotional victims of power play. Let me explain the concept by simply putting it like this -if two or more people are in a relationship and if there is one or more persons dictating the terms of the relationship then this is what is called Power Play in relationship.

Power play can exists at work place in personal life and even among spouses married to each other for years. Many a relationship can be destroyed if the power play are skewed or the possibility is that one of the participant in the relationship can be emotionally challenged.

Power play exists in all types of relationship for those dating, when we meet, where we meet for how long, place of meeting etc is decided by the one more in power or in control. As children the power rests with the parents, they make the decisions for the kids early on in life. At school, teachers are in control of what the students should do.

As per Google one of the meanings of Power Play is tactics exhibiting or intended to increase a person’s power or influence. Sometimes this concentration Power can corrode the relationship as the recipient may be hurting and may not have the courage or heart to speak up for the fear of losing the other. Ultimately the relationship turns sour and is stale and no longer relevant to the parties in the relationship.

At times people may continue to be in the relationship oblivious to the power play, each one adopts the position of either being offensive or submissive. Over a period of time what would have been acceptable by the person being submissive is no longer acceptable as they may no longer be enjoying this position and they want to be more in control. The ones in control, may go about their decisions and way of life without understanding the other persons need and decision making in the relationship.

For people in power it is rare that they would like to control a relationship to the extent that they would want to hurt others in the relationship. Sometimes this power position arises becomes the other persons are in awe of this person and looks up to them or at times they may not be willing to take the decision or risks that the other person is willing to take. Hence by default these individuals are put in the power play position by others hence leaving no choice this person assumes this power position.

It’s important to bring about balance of this power play especially at work and in a relationship. While for some it may seem natural to be in control of the conversation or have a power position in a relationship.  This may be as a result of their personality which is shaped up by the experiences they have had in life. Similarly those lesser in power may be in that position because of their unique experiences.

The fact is that Power Play exists and it’s not right of wrong to be in either of the pedestal of high or low in power. It’s how to balance this power play, maintain the dignity and respect in a relationship is important. For others in lower end of the power position it’s important to recognize that they should be open and should communicate to those in power of how they are they feeling and if they want to be more in power or change the current power scale. For those in control or power – It simply means, have I considered what the other person is feeling, wanting and needed.

The more we communicate the more issues of power play their possible extremes can be avoided. In areas where these do exits open dialogue with the other can help create balance in the relationship.


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