PS: I Love You….Words that all of us would want to hear at some point in our life…We experience different kinds of love throughout our lifespan. Some of them are baby love, mommy love, puppy love 🙂 , eros, agape and the list goes on…
Today however I want to share about tough love…while we may experience all of the above love, I think the one that is misunderstood or not accepted much and that is tough laugh.
We are all surrounded by different types of people around us, some of them are supportive of us, some would be our critics, more so some could even be our nemesis and would want to pull us down. It’s important to understand what kind of people are for your betterment who do you mingle with and who are best left alone.
No I am not suggesting a hermit’s life however I am talking about a life where you are choiceful of who are part of your life and who are important (read priority) in your life and who need to be deleted from your life..
I have a mix of close relationships with a few friends, and each of them love me dearly J however all of them are different from each other. I have an emotional friend, practical minded – matter of fact, no nonsense friend and tough love. So they balance out very well, I know who I need to reach out to if I need to have a shoulder to cry, who can give me the most level headed practical advice and who can vent out along with me. I also know who can show the mirror to me when needed.
Tough love is a kind of love the friend’s don’t show you any pity or sympathy. They don’t join you in the pity party, they rather would show you the facts and may be brutal with the truth to the point that you are forced to take an action. We all need such friends and people around us, typically it’s like a good cop, bad cop scenario where the father is generally a bit strict with the kids but mother is more tender and loving. But the father actually in most cases portrays tough laugh.
Someone who shows tough laugh towards you won’t shy away and mince words, they would rather be open about their opinions and will even critique you. They may not necessarily provide a shoulder to cry on or may provide it for a limited time, however they will eventually want you to manage your stuff and get out of the situation. It’s not that they will leave you high and dry it’s just that they believe in you and think its better you learn it the hard way. It’s like the old saying, Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; show him how to catch fish and you feed him for life”
Hence I call it tough love, because the person loves you and is supportive of you as a person however can be harsh or stern in the attempt wanting you to take responsibility for some actions.
I am glad I have friends and people around me who demonstrate tough love from time to time. This keeps me on track and also provide me a reality check. It’s not that I am dependent on Tough love, but it’s good to have someone who cares for you and wants nothing but the best.
Have you identified who fits in which bucket of love or priority, if not I would recommend to get the list out. There are some I would turn for advice, there some who I need more information from there are others who I need as a sounding board, others just to go with the flow, but very importantly tough love to ensure I continue to believe in myself.
To all my friends who play, different & interchangeable roles
PS: I love you….